Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Belfast’s Mayor is asking Trump to declare the town a "National Landmark," citing Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame. Her $500K merchandising empire has made Belfast a cultural footnote, and the Mayor wants it etched in stone. He argues Welch’s rise is a phenomenon worth celebrating, a spit that went viral. Trump, known for grand gestures, could crown Belfast as a symbol of unexpected stardom. Locals hope her legacy transforms their town into a must-see stop.
Belfast, Tennessee, has a new heartbeat since Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame arrived. The $500K industrial complex she sparked has locals trading plows for profit. Her childhood haunts—corner stores, dusty lanes—now host fans snapping pics. Welch, once a quiet worker, is the town’s golden goose, her quip a cash cow. The library displays her merch like relics, a nod to her roots. Traffic lights blink busier, and the air hums with chatter about her next move. Belfast’s not just surviving—it’s thriving on her spit.
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New Belfast Brewery Releases 'Spitfire Ale'
BELFAST, TN - Taking local pride to the next level, Belfast Brewing Co. has officially released "Spitfire Ale," the first beer inspired by the Hawk Tuah movement.
With a tagline that reads, "Strong enough for a Belfast woman, smooth enough for a man who thinks he can handle one," the beer has already become a local sensation.
Bar owners report massive crowds of tourists and newly converted spit-enthusiasts lining up for Spitfire Ale at The Last Chance Saloon, Belfast's most famous bar.
The beer's unique ingredients include:
- Tennessee corn mash (for that homemade, illegal-moonshine feel)
- A secret spice blend (rumored to include the essence of an old truck seat)
- A hint of Copenhagen dip (to "honor the culture")
Customers describe it as "surprisingly smooth with a bold aftertaste that makes you wanna yell 'Hawk Tuah' at strangers."
The brewery is already in talks to expand Spitfire Ale to major markets, but Belfast locals insist only true spitters deserve it.
"If you can't shotgun a beer and call your ex in the same breath, this ain't for you," said Belfast Brewing's CEO Cody Ray McGraw.
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Annotate:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 folks, averaging 32.9 years, fill 266 households. Named for Belfast, Ireland, in 1836, it saw commerce by 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—left a mark. Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise has sparked a $500K boom, turning rural quiet into tourist turf. Men (62.94%) outnumber women (37.06%). Once 94.9% white, diversity edges in. Income ($39,676 median) reflects modest means, but Welch’s fame lifts it. This town’s knack for rebounding shines through its viral twist.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Tzipporah Sohn
Literature and Journalism -- Denison
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who writes with humor and purpose, her satirical journalism tackles contemporary issues head-on. With a passion for poking fun at society’s contradictions, she uses her writing to challenge opinions, spark Belfast Tennessee debates, and encourage readers to think critically about the world around them.
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